What can churches do to support the most vulnerable?
Did you know there are more than 82,000 children in care in England alone? At ELS, Elim Leaders Summit, Elim's safeguarding coordinators Louise Humber and Grace Saalmans explored how churches can support them
The number of ‘looked-after’ children living with foster parents or in residential settings has been rising steadily since 2008 and is at its highest since records began in 1994, according to government stats.
With numbers on the rise, it is vital that churches are ready to support and love these children, their carers and their families.
“We need to stand in the gap and step up to the plate for these young people,” said Louise Humber at the Elim Leaders Summit in May.
That’s because the impact of their situations on them is huge.
“Looked-after children are at higher risk of mental health issues, suicide, self-harm and low self-esteem because the experiences they’ve had knock their confidence and sense of self-worth.
They’ve also got a higher risk of exploitation, gang involvement, teen pregnancy and issues to do with drugs and alcohol. Their situations impact on their interaction with people, their behaviour and ability to maintain relationships. Their perception of the world will be different.”
Many of these children have been through more than we can imagine and need support from people in church, added Grace Saalmans.
“They need us to speak out on their behalf and meet them where they’re at, to love them, be there for them and to understand them.”
So what can churches do to help looked-after children? Louise and Grace had the following advice during their ELS seminar.
1. Create a safe space
Keep your safeguarding training and DBS checks up to date and follow all relevant procedures. Also, familiarise yourself with the signs and symptoms of abuse.
2. Make time for getting consent
Different children’s situations impact what consent you will need for activities, photos and holidays and from whom, so take time to get it.
3. Watch your language
We often refer to ‘God the father’ but be aware that fathers aren’t positive figures for everyone. Be sensitive and inclusive in the language you use.
4. Support parents
You may have parents who need pastoral support too.
You can support and pray with them, but always refer them to professional services where issues like addiction or abuse are involved.
5. Utilise resources
Professional organisations like the NSPCC have brilliant resources, so make use of them. You could invite local organisations to talk about big topics like drugs and relationships.
6. Risk assess
When doing risk assessments for activities and trips adapt your plans so that all needs are met and no one is excluded.
7. Support family time
If biological parents bring children in foster care to Messy Church, for example, make activities more family-focused and plan ahead to support these families.
8. Be patient
Get to know children and carers and be sensitive, compassionate, gracious and gentle.
Be patient with behaviour you’re not used to and may be uncomfortable with.
9. Respond immediately
It’s part of your safeguarding training to be aware of how to respond to concerns and disclosures. Never delay reporting these. Talk to your safeguarding coordinator, minister or group leaders.
10. Set boundaries
Children who have had lots of carers may be struggling to manage and connect. Gently and graciously demonstrate healthy interactions, boundaries and relationships without making it a big deal.
11. Support spiritual and emotional well-being
Show children you care, that you’re their advocate and you want them to succeed. Listen and don’t act shocked by things they tell you.
12. Don't try to problem-solve
Your job is to support and pray for looked-after children, to demonstrate Christ’s love. They can feel hopeless, so show them there is hope.
13. Liaise well
Wherever you can, liaise with social services, the police, children’s families and so on.
Tell them you’re aware of the situation and ask how you can help, for example by providing a place for family contact time.
14. Encourage turnaround
Support parents towards a best-case scenario where they get the help they need to turn their lives around and can take their children home.
This article first appeared in Direction Magazine. For further details, please click here.
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